Tribble Trouble Puffskein Problems
by starspangledpumpkin
Summary: Newt has always wanted to be a science officer for Starfleet. He is assigned to the USS Enterprise and finds it most interesting.


**Hufflepuff**

 **Seventh Year**

 **Category:** Bonus

 **The Houses Competition**

 **Prompt(s):** 1\. Star Trek,

2\. Newt Scamander,

3\. [Action] Chasing, [Speech] You're going to be in trouble aren't you? [Color] Sienna

 **Word Count:** 2,166

All Newt Scamander ever wanted to be was a zoologist for Starfleet. Wizarding communities were still hidden from the world even in the 23rd century. You would think that with alien races being able to do fantastical things on par with levitation and legilimency they wouldn't have to, but every ten years, when the Ambassadors for the International Statute of Secrecy met, they determined that it was better to remain in hiding.

It was unthinkable for a wizard to join an association like Starfleet. Being in close quarters with muggles for months on end. How do you hide your wand when you're sharing a room with someone? What if you're attacked? Do you keep using the phasers? How do you explain to a person that you can do magic if they find out?

Newt didn't care. Everyone knew all about the magical beasts on Earth. It seemed the next step was to find and study alien beasts. Learn their behavior, what they like, what they eat, how to take care of them.

So, he applied to Starfleet. His transfiguration Professor, Albus Dumbledore, helped him change his resumé to make it more… muggle.

He applied three times and, finally, he was accepted into the Academy.

It was four long years of training for space travel and learning about the known planets, their ecosystems, and basic flora and fauna. In this time, he had become friends with his roommate, Jacob Kowalski. Jacob was training to be a chef for one of the ships. Newt considered him a friend, but he wasn't sure if it was reciprocated. They would talk, and they sat together at meals. Still, Newt found that he tended to annoy people after a while and it took him even longer to realize he was doing it.

Finally came graduation day as well as the day that they were to be assigned their ships. Newt anxiously waited with his peers as their names were called along with the ship they were on.

"Scamander, Newt," said the officer. "Starship Enterprise."

Newt eagerly pushed forward and got his papers. The Starship Enterprise was known for going to the most interesting places! He could hardly wait.

"Please proceed to your transport ship," said the officer. "Once you're on deck, you will direct yourselves immediately to sick bay for a final check-up and necessary injections to help protect you against space sickness and other potential illnesses."

Newt picked up his suitcase, an antique from the 1920s (his favorite historical year aesthetically speaking), and made his way to the transport ship for the Starship Enterprise. He took a seat and buckled himself in. A rotund man entered and lit up upon seeing Newt.

"Hey, buddy," he said, taking a seat next to him. "You got the Enterprise, too? What are the odds."

"Er—one in four hundred," said Newt. Jacob got a funny look on his face. "Sorry."

Jacob laughed. "Took me a second. It'll be good to have a friend on the ship."

"Friend?" Newt perked up.

"Yeah," said Jacob. "What do you call these past four years?"

Newt shrugged. "I assumed you were merely putting up with me."

"Nah." Jacob shook his head. "We're pals."

That was a nice thought.

They survived the bumpy flight and the twenty officers made their way to sick bay where a brunet man with a surly expression was waiting for them.

"I am Dr. Leonard McCoy," he said, speaking quickly and bluntly. "Captain Kirk prefers us to be on our way as quickly as possible, so line up in an orderly fashion with your name and identification number. No idle chitchat, and if you see a man with a bowl cut and pointy ears, don't bother talking to him."

Newt and Jacob exchanged looks and filed in line.

~o0o~

It was true that the Starship Enterprise was the most interesting out of all the Starfleet ships. It seemed like every other week there was something new happening. Crew members claimed of meeting the Greek God Apollo, another time a Changeling had come on board and tried to kill people, and when studying wildlife on Gamma Trianguli VI, Newt was almost killed by the locals and a particularly ill-tempered creature resembling a Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

In other words, Newt was having the time of his life. Hogwarts could be rather dangerous at times. Living in a Castle that sometimes tried to kill you was no different than living on a ship that constantly tried to kill you. The only difference was that people actually liked Newt here. A woman from the main deck, Lieutenant Uhura was very nice and said hello to him in the hallways. He and Jacob would sometimes have meals together and chatted whenever they had a break. And there was another person who liked him. Queenie Goldstein. She was part of communications. She often called Newt the brother she never had and told him often of her sister, Tina, who was security personnel on the USS Explorer.

Almost a year into his time on the ship, they made a stop at Deep Space Station K-7 in response to a Red Alert distress call. Newt, being a science officer, went to the labs with all the other science officers to secure samples and research to make sure it wasn't destroyed if they happened to be attacked. In the first few weeks of Newt's time there, he and the other five science officers were drilled on what to do in these situations. He was certain he could now do it half-asleep.

As soon as they were done strapping things down and putting the more important research in nearly indestructible containers, they received a call from the bridge.

"This is Lt. Uhura, speaking. The emergency was a false alarm. I repeat, a false alarm."

A wave of groans rose from the crew and they got to work undoing their emergency procedure.

It turned out to be something about Agriculture, a type of grain called Quadro-triticale that resembled wheat. Newt wasn't interested in agriculture and didn't really care about its purpose. Jacob was, however, and wanted to learn more about the grain. Unfortunately for him it was under extreme lockdown and guarding. No one was allowed in and the research for the culture of this grain was not for public viewing.

So, they took their shore leave. Queenie insisted on tagging along and looped her arm with Jacob's. They entered one of the shops and found Lt. Uhura and Ensign Chekov, one of the ship's navigators. A man wearing a bulky, green coat was trying to sell various items to the shopkeeper. He then produced a fluffy, little, round creature with sienna-colored fur.

"Oh, how adorable," Uhura gushed.

"A puffskein!" Newt and Queenie exclaimed at the same time.

Uhura looked at them in surprise. "A what?"

"A puffskein," said Newt, holding out his hand for the creature. "They're little creatures that like to breed under couches and beds. They're wonderful pets for children and they have long tongues, so they can get bogies out of your nose and when they're happy—"

"They sing," said Queenie.

"Actually, sir," said the salesman. "That there is a tribble."

"It's a puffskein," said Newt. "Wherever did you get one?"

"That, dear boy, is a tribble. It is a unique creature, and a good salesman never reveals where he gets his resources."

"It's a puffskein," Queenie whispered to Jacob.

Ignoring them, the salesman went back to his bartering, eventually giving his "sample" to Uhura.

"Lt. Uhura," said Newt, "may I study that… tribble for an hour? I want to make sure it's healthy."

"I will get him back, won't I?" she asked.

"Of course," said Newt.

Uhura hesitated a moment then handed over her new pet.

"How do you know about puffskeins?" Newt asked Queenie.

Her eyes widened. "Well, at my first _Quidditch_ game, a man was selling them."

"Oh…" He gave her a look which he hope said, 'We'll talk about this later.' For now, he wanted to study this puffskein.

"What is that?" his coworker Janet asked when she passed by his table.

He'd been studying the creature for two hours and was just trying to figure out what it ate. He was starting to realize that it wasn't like any puffskein he knew. It turned up its nose at some leftovers from lunch and various insects. He even tried spiders, remembering that his childhood puffskein loved them as a treat. He then discovered it liked grains. It ate a bit of cornmeal he got from Jacob.

"It's a puffskein," Newt told Janet. "Or… a tribble. I'm not entirely sure yet. It could be that a puffskein is a species of tribble or, perhaps, the other way around."

"Whatever it is, it's… gone."

"What?" Newt whirled around and found the creature had disappeared. "Oh, dear… it was Lt. Uhura's."

"You're going to be in trouble aren't you?" said Janet.

Newt nodded and jumped up from his chair to go find it. He searched all night, until finally, he found it wiggling down a corridor close to the recreation room.

"There you are!" he said, sighing in relief and scooping it up, stroking two fingers against the sienna fur. "Uhura would kill me if anything happened to you. Come on."

Luckily, he could hear her voice from the nearby rec room. He burst in holding the creature aloft.

"Lt. Uhura, your puffskein!" he said.

"I know," she replied. "Aren't they adorable?"

He looked at the table which was covered in twelve tribbles, their fur in various shades of brown all the way to cream-colored.

"Newt," she said. "You didn't mention that they multiplied like this."

Queenie entered the room. "Oh! You have a whole poffle of puffskeins." She furrowed her brow. "I didn't think they mated this quickly."

"They don't," said Newt.

"Ensign Scamander."

Newt looked up at Dr. McCoy.

"You seem to know a lot about these creatures," he said. "Come with me. I'd like to study them a little more. We'll start with that one you have in your hand."

~o0o~

"Newt," said Dr. McCoy. "I need you to gather up all the tribbles. They're getting everywhere and into our supplies."

"Yes, sir," said Newt. He ran to his quarters while avoiding stepping on tribbles that were wiggling down the hallway. He grabbed his suitcase and cast an undetectable extension charm on it, tossing every tribble he found into it.

"Newt! Help!" Jacob shouted. "These things are eating everything in the kitchens."

"Right!" said Newt, following his friend.

"I thought you said these things are harmless," said Jacob. "They're cute little fellas but they seem to be doing a lot of damage."

"Puffskeins don't breed like this," Newt replied. "These are something different."

"Tribbles."

The kitchens were overrun with the trilling balls of fluff.

"Yes." Newt set his suitcase down on the floor and opened it up, grabbing tribbles and tossing them into his case.

"How much space you got in here?" Jacob asked, dumping an armful of them into the case.

"Plenty," Newt replied.

They got the kitchen taken care of and moved on to the rest of the ship until his suitcase was almost filled up. It shouldn't have been possible for an extension charm to run to its full volume, but it did.

"Newt, Jacob," Queenie called. "These puffskeins—I mean tribbles are everywhere."

"We need to get these off the ship," said Newt, handing her his case. "I have about a thousand in here. Get rid of them, please."

"Sure," she said, taking it and running off.

As the hours passed, the tribble infestation grew worse and worse. Three days later word would reach that all the Quadro-triticale was gone, entirely eaten by tribbles.

"Queenie, where did you put my case?" he asked.

"Well, I was called back to communications," she said. "So, I left it with my friend who was just going on guard duty for the grain and… oh…" She placed a hand over her mouth.

"If we want these tribbles off the ship," said Jacob. "We better get moving."

"You three," came a Scottish brogue.

"Hello, Scotty," said Queenie.

"Hello, Queenie," said Scotty, smiling at her. "I need you three to help me get these tribbles to the transporter room."

"Sure," said Queenie.

"May I ask why?" Newt asked.

"You may ask," said Scotty. "But whether or not I answer is up to me. Now, hop to it."

Jacob, Queenie, and Newt exchanged looks and got to work snatching up as many tribbles as they could carry and taking them to the transporter room. Newt just hoped they were going to a nice home rather than being launched into space.


End file.
